DEPARTMENTS

Some co-workers at a Fortune 200 company I used to work for were standing around talking one day about the stupid corporate buzzwords we used to hear at sales and marketing meetings ("synergy" and "zeitgeist" come to mind), when my next door cube neighbor came up with an idea. She and her husband both worked at the company in different departments. She said they wanted to introduce the word "beneful" as a new buzzword and see if it would stick.

In case you don't know, Beneful is the name of a dog food.

So she and her husband started inserting the word into conversations during these meetings. Darned if it didn't work. She said she heard several other people start using it who weren't in on the joke. LINK

I was assigned the project of assessing a new market in Asia. I created a scope of work, work-back schedule, and deadline for launch: six weeks. The CEO signed off on this.

One week later, he called me urgently from this country to "send what I had." I explained I was still researching and working on copy: all I had were some early Word documents. He wanted them anyway. So I sent them.

The CEO returned a week early and called all management into the boardroom, including me. He then proceeded for the next three hours to humiliate me for my shoddy work. LINK

I worked for a rather large computer seller. After I had been there for a while, they initiated a new training program. Apparently, this is a very well studied method. It was called "Go for no."

Here's the premise of the policy:

A customer is almost 75% more likely to purchase something after saying no more than 5 times.

The new policy was to MAKE SURE the customer says no to EVERY thing you try to sell them AT LEAST 5 times. Needless to say, this resulted in many, many annoyed customers. LINK

The large newspaper where I worked recently imposed a ten percent paycut on all management positions, due to severe economic constraints. This coming after three years of no raises.

Meanwhile, the publisher/owner (who inherited the position), has been spending more time traveling, skiing, and boating with his mistress (who is on the company payroll) than running the business.

Following the pay cuts, he gave himself a $1,000 a week raise on top of his already huge salary. I left without notice. LINK

I was recently hired to work overseas as a civilian contractor. My recruiter said I'd make about $100,000.

When I finished the (unpaid) two-week training course, I was told that not only would I be working in war-time Iraq, but the pay was 30% less than I'd been promised.

But the money was still good, so I went through with it. When I got to Iraq, I discovered I didn't work for the original company any more, but rather two subsidiaries removed. Apparently my employer was now a holdings bank in Uzbekistan.

We were required to buy insurance from a major "default" government insurer. This was put to the test when a buddy of mine went on R&R to Thailand and had his appendix rupture. He was flown to Japan for surgery, then home. But the hospital wouldn't accept the insurance without company approval. When he called the regional HR representative (this was at 3 AM), the rep said, "That isn't my job," and hung up.

My supervisor was called in to give a report. When it became known that my buddy had taken a Leave Without Pay (LWOP) instead of R&R (vacation pay), the medic doing the report closed his laptop and said, "Problem solved. If he's LWOP, we aren't responsible." LINK