DEPARTMENTS

When you were a minute late at work, our clocking system would notice and you didn’t get paid for the full hour, but for forty-five minutes. In the past people came late and this was the only solution…

Every first Saturday of the month, we had a kick-off meeting. All the employees would turn up an hour before we were supposed to start, and talked about the great things we accomplished in the past month, and the things that needed to improve. You got a free cup of tea. No salary.

I refused to show up at the meeting if I didn’t get the money I deserved. It’s a two-way story, I said to my line manager. I was not amused.

Every week, there was a half-four meeting on Friday with some special departments that worked close together. My line-manager put me on the list to attend them and if I didn’t go, he would have a reason to sack me. What he forgot was my argument for not showing up, and he also forgot that these meetings counted as work time, providing me with an extra hour of salary in the week. The only thing I did was smile and nip my tea. LINK

My first post-college job was at a hyper-efficient, alarmingly enthusiastic company. At our annual staff meeting, a President proclaimed in his thick accent, "I luff this company. I vood die for zis company."

I moved on to another company, where I expected much the same thing. I noticed that things were a little different--nothing was ever finished on time, the attitude wasn't so much "pride in a job well done" as "eh, just get it out the door"--but I almost fell out of my chair when the CEO proclaimed that the new renovations would be "up to this company's usual standards--you know, a little crappy." LINK

Working on the helpdesk in a four-man IT department, I discovered how abused entry-level workers are. On Saturdays I had to work until 11 p.m., spend an hour commuting home, sleep for 3 hours, then return to work for 6 a.m.

I decided that on those days it was more efficient to sleep in my car at a local truck stop. However, this meant I was constantly tired, and I finally snapped and was kicked out of my parents' house. With nowhere to live, broke, and earning $9 an hour, I sold my car and began squatting at a nearby warehouse.

Finally I was pulled into a meeting with two managers who informed me of their disatisfaction with my appearance and smell. I explained my sad story to them. They listened to this and decided that I was unable to meet the requirements for the position, so they fired me. LINK

Some co-workers at a Fortune 200 company I used to work for were standing around talking one day about the stupid corporate buzzwords we used to hear at sales and marketing meetings ("synergy" and "zeitgeist" come to mind), when my next door cube neighbor came up with an idea. She and her husband both worked at the company in different departments. She said they wanted to introduce the word "beneful" as a new buzzword and see if it would stick.

In case you don't know, Beneful is the name of a dog food.

So she and her husband started inserting the word into conversations during these meetings. Darned if it didn't work. She said she heard several other people start using it who weren't in on the joke. LINK

In one private company I worked for, the CEO created a "bonus pool," to be split amongst the top 15 managers, salespeople, and himself, according to salary percentage.

Everyone was excited about this, as wages were not great. That is, until the end of the year, when we realized the CEO's cut of the bonus pool was $1 million, and the remainder, to be split amongst everyone else, was fairly skimpy.

The next few years were similar, until some of the VPs convinced him he shouldn't be a part of the pool--he was already making a huge salary. He agreed and made a wonderful speech to the group about removing himself.

We were anxious to see what this next year held. But at the end of the year, the numbers were still similar. What happened? The CEO just took the same $1 million before it ever reached the bonus pool. And now he was getting his from the beginning of the year instead of waiting like the rest of us! LINK